Répliques de Chuck

 

Saison 1

 

Ned: What if you didn't have to be dead?
Chuck: That would be preferable.

 

*****

 

Ned: This is pushing your luck.
Chuck: Yeah, well, luck pushed me first

 

*****

 

Chuck: I can't even hug you? What if you need a hug? A hug can turn your day around.
Ned: I'm not a fan of the hug.
Chuck: Then you haven't been hugged properly. It's like an emotional Heimlich.

 

*****

 

Ned: (referring to an ID badge Emerson has for the building, in which they aren't supposed to be) Where'd you get that?
Emerson: Contacted the company that makes these doors under false pretenses. They gave me a sample ID badge, which I digitally altered using the magnetic code that matches the serial number of this machine. Is that cheap?
Chuck: (holds up an ID badge as well) I don't know. Is this? I gave the security guard a hug goodbye. My upper body distracted him, while these things I call "hands" took this off his belt

 

*****

 

Ned: Can we not say kill? I touch them again is all, and they snap right back to the way they're supposed to be.
Chuck: Am I the rubber band that broke?

 

*****

 

Ned: I hate secrets too.
Chuck: What? You love secrets. You want to marry secrets and have little half-secret, half-human babies.

 

*****

 

Chuck: We're going to Heaven.
Louis: I got in?
Chuck: Yeah, and Heaven is closing in five minutes.

 

*****

 

(while Emerson is trapped on a little window)
Chuck: Are you stuck?
Emerson: No.
Chuck: Yes you are! Like Winnie the Pooh. Give me your paws, Pooh.

 

*****

 

Lefty: I'm sorry, was that guy your boyfriend? The guy who took a step back and let you fall?
Chuck: It was actually a really affectionate gesture. In context

 

*****

 

Chuck: (to Ned) How do you know there's not a ghost somewhere right now telling his ghost friend, "You don't really think there's a guy who can touch dead people back to life, do you?"

 

*****

 

Chuck: (to Digby) You know what we are? We're the walking dead on Halloween. If anyone should be scared, should be them

 

*****

 

Emerson: You can't die of evilness.
Chuck: Happens all the time you do something mean or hurtful to someone like tell a secret... Bang! You're dead.

 

*****

 

Ned: How can you understand him?
Chuck: I was in full orthodentic headgear for three years.

 

*****

 

Chuck: (to Ned) I'm going to hug Digby and pretend that he's you.

 

*****

 

Chuck: He said I smelled like honey.
Oscar: Like you've been dipped in it. (smells Chuck's wrist) There's something else you smell like.
Chuck: I know. Death. It's my perfume.

 

*****

 

(Ned almost runs into Chuck)
Chuck: Maybe I should wear a bell.
Ned: Actually...
Chuck: I'm not wearing a bell.

 

*****

 

Chuck: Guess what day it is today.
Ned: World Hello Day.
Chuck: Oh, you finally put up my calendar of obscure holidays.
Ned: Yes, and Hola!

 

*****

 

Emerson: So whoever killed Billy is walking around with nine fingers thinking they got away with murder.
Chuck: Mm-hmmm. Footloose and finger-free.

 

*****

 

(Olive and Chuck prepare to break into the Candy Shop.)
Olive: There's no alarm system. Got a credit card?
Chuck: Why? You know how to pick locks?
Olive: No. You're gonna need to pay for the damages.
(Olive runs head first through the glass front door)
Chuck: Cool.

 

*****

 

Chuck and Olive: (singing) Don't mess with the Pie Hos, uh-huh!

 

*****

 

Ned: But do you hate me?
Chuck: I have to hate you a little, just for a little while. But I can't do that if you stay
Ned: I don't want you to hate me, I'll stay.
Chuck: If you stay, I'll just end up hating you more. Just go.

 

*****

 

Chuck: You sneak up on people, that could get you inadvertently bludgeoned with a rolling pin.
Oscar: I find a bludgeoning to be a unique sensory experience. I taste pennies and smell burnt toast.

 

*****